The Letter
by moonangel1
Summary: A short drabble. Usagi receives a letter.


**AN:** Hey, look what I found! A completed story (well, drabble) I never posted. Ok, not really. I opened the file thinking it was complete. Then, upon realizing it only had key plot points and bits, I just thought, eh, I'll give it a crack.

So yeah, this is finished. Maybe not exactly a masterpiece but finished. Are people still doing drabbles? I think this is my first and it'd be hilarious if the tradition is now long dead. I'd apparently had the germ of the idea in 2009 but abandoned it for who knows what reason (laziness?). Also, another reason I'm posting this is to test how annoying it'll be now and work out the kinks before posting anything else. And to feel less horrible about not updating Memory for nearly a decade.

**Regarding Memory: **So, out of guilt, I am thinking about updating with just what I have with **absolutely no promises **to go further (hey, I'd like to try but it just may not be there). I saw my next chapter file had, like, 2-3 scenes then gave up... until I checked my backed up files and found more. Again, I'll try. But I fell out of this fandom years ago. Luckily, I've found that I still kind of love it but I'm so beyond rusty.

**Warning: **Not the happiest story you'll ever read. I mean, seriously, look at the prompt.

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><p><strong>#18 Death - The Letter<strong>

**by moonangel**

Rubbing her dreary eyes, Usagi stared vacantly up at the man in uniform on her doorstep.

Pulling her robe tighter around her, knowing she looked like hell, she explained, "Oh, uh, if you're looking for my mom she's-"

"Are you Tsukino Usagi?"

Usagi blinked. "Um, yes."

"This is for you," he replied bluntly, but somehow almost politely. When she robotically accepted for the delicate item in his outstretched hand, he bowed slightly, uttering a curt, "Good day." And with that, the strange man turned and left a bewildered Usagi standing there with a fairly plain envelope in her hands.

She walked back into the empty house, absentmindedly shutting the door behind her. Slowly opening her little mystery, making a sad attempt at minimal tearing, she pulled out the first of several loose pages, a typed letter with a fancy letterhead. She noticed with some curiosity that it was from a lawyer. She frowned, puzzling over what a lawyer would want with her, until a familiar name jumped out at her from the page.

Her fingers trembled.

As did her heart.

Desperate eyes quickly scanned over the page.

"... Mysterious absence... unusual circumstances... requested to be declared as deceased if missing for a period extending beyond thirty-one days..."

A gasping sob ripped through her, shaking her body and she collapsed onto her knees, clutching the paper.

This was Chiba Mamoru's will.

Or the portion of it his lawyer somehow believed she should to see.

But why? Was this some kind of Dark Kingdom trick? Before he was- well,_ before _he barely gave the ditzy Odango Atama much thought. Certainly not enough for her to be given anything like this.

Shakily setting the formal letter aside, she gently pulled out the other papers, her watery gaze rested on familiar handwriting.

_"Dear Odango Atama,_

Oh god.

_"I should be calling you Usagi-chan, shouldn't I? But somehow it seems wrong for me to call you the name everyone else uses. If you're reading this letter then I don't think you'll ever see me again. It would be cold to outright say that I'm dead. I know you won't like that but it's very possible. Wow, I just went ahead and dumped that on you, didn't I? Ok, I'll explain. _

_"I must inform you that I've been living a double life. Sorry. That's such a silly line. But it's true. _

_"You see, I really am a normal student. I go to classes and work hard. But my nights, and occasional afternoons, they're different. _

_"At night I'm Tuxedo Kamen. _

_"Ok, again, I know how that sounds. Ridiculous, right? You probably don't believe me and that's ok. I'm not even sure if it matters. After all, it might be better if you brushed it off. I'm sure you're disappointed just thinking about it. So maybe this is a selfish move._

_"But I just wanted you to know who I was. _

_"Am. Who I am. _

_"Forgive me. I'm getting my tenses mixed up. _

_"So you can imagine that because I'm not living the safest life I've known that one day I might disappear and people would wonder. Maybe the news wouldn't even report of Tuxedo Kamen's death. And strangely, that didn't bother me so much. As long as you knew and, hopefully, cared. _

_"Wait. Sorry. I keep getting ahead of myself. I should have thought this through. But for once I kind of wanted to just let it all out and not think. _

_"So I think I should start at the beginning. The very beginning. _

_"The best place to start would be when I was six years old. It was my birthday, actually. We, my parents and I, had taken this route maybe hundreds of times before. But on that day..."_

The tears she'd been violently fighting against welled up as she re-read his account of his loss. And of his dreams. The very dreams he told her about that night so, so long ago. He went into more detail here, recounting his loneliness as an orphan, his desperate need to believe in the princess, in a person out there waiting for him. Loving him.

_"So I was ok. I thought. It's hard to tell when you know it's been a while since you've been truly happy. But I wasn't that lonely, I believed, because I had a purpose. Or at least I didn't think I was truly lonely during those years. Until I met this girl. This crazy, hyper, lazy, stubborn, unbelievably beautiful girl..."_

Moist tracks trickled silently down her face as he opened up. Gave his at first frustrated recountings of their earlier meetings. But as the encounters increased so did his curiosity, his regard. And his affection. He talked about how as the Dark Kingdom pressed on, as the stakes kept raising, his duties as Tuxedo Kamen began to weigh down on him. How he began to doubt if he'd ever find the princess, and if in the end it would be worth being at odds with his allies. He was so conflicted, so lost. But he now had a place to go to escape. To feel peace for the first time since he was a child. Or a person to go to, really.

_"... which hopefully will explain why I'm leaving so much to you. The papers will give you the details so I won't bother. Just please don't feel guilty. You may give as much as you want to charity, because I know you would want to. But please keep some from yourself. It's silly for me to want to take care of you from beyond the grave but please just humor me. Consider it my last request. Don't worry, I'm not giving you everything. My parents did leave me a ridiculously large amount. I'm donating a large sum to various charities and orphanages. And Motoki's receiving a fair bit. I know it's cruel to ask you this of you and believe me, I hate to do so but please be there for him. He may be shocked when he receives his own letter and I just couldn't reveal my identity to him. It would hurt him too much to also find out I had kept such a bit secret from him. _

_"Lastly, I just want to tell you that I love you. Maybe I shouldn't be writing it in here as an afterthought and surely this is as unromantic a confession as I can imagine. And maybe it's unnecessary after reading my thoughts and feelings on all our interactions. _

_"I know you never wanted that from me and I almost feel afraid to put that burden on you. But please don't see it that way. I lived my life feeling so much emptiness and despair. When you appeared I feel like I found something inside myself that I never imagined I'd be allowed. Surely my death was caused by my search for the princess and much of my life was consumed by it. But you offered me a shelter from those burdens. You were the light that guided me. Even if all we ever did was argue, I was comforted by your presence. Just your very existence, even. So please know that just by being in it, you have made my life more complete than I ever could have hoped for. I'd like to think that I died helping the senshi and my princess. As long as I can take care of you in some small way then I'll know my death wasn't in vain. _

_"Aishiteru, Usako._

_"Sincerely,_

_Chiba Mamoru"_

Oh Mamoru...

Usagi gentle set the letter down, letting the tears flow. It was amazing that she'd ever thought herself to be too dried up to let them out again. Even if that was only a week ago.

But she wouldn't break down. Not like before.

No.

He needed her to be strong.

A light pulsed from her chest and her eyes fell to the golden broach resting there.

The ginzuishou.

She clutched the jewel in her fist, her eyes gazing ahead, determed.

_I'll save you. I promise. Aishiteru... Mamo-chan._

end.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>So, sorry for the not so happy ending? Hey, the prompt was death. What'd you expect? Also, I've never dealt much with legal procedures, I know nothing about wills and I have no idea how it's different in Japan. So forgive the inaccuracies.


End file.
